i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
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