girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
