Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
