And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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