I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
