Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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