i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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