Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
