come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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