first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
