i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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