i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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