I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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