I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
