Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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