There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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