I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Girls should come with a carfax report
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
