somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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