Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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