I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just tell him i said nine months
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
as a side note pls kill me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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