sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just had sex on a roof
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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