I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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