remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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