i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
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