my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
