He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
