the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My hand turned me down
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
