Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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