I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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