Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
