Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
