i permit you to call me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
