Can Purell be used as lube?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
