I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
