Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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