Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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