uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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