You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
