Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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