So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Randomize
