Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I cannot find my penis.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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