I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
