You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
