I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
