the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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