That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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