she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
