508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
