I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
