I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize