are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
