why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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