didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
