Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
