i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
