Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
