I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
