there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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