some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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