Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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